Talking About Love

Talking About Love and Loving God

The thing that we all want, the thing that people are all looking for, the thing that many of us substitute other things for, (and these things never work) is love. The problem with love, especially being loved by God, which I think is the source of all love, is that the very second you try to talk about it, you’re off the mark. I think that is the problem with all discourse, all debate, all talk, and all theology. And once you start down the road of thinking or discussion about something as intangible and ineffable as the encountering of this transcendent, immanent “thing” we call love, you are at least once removed from the encounter itself. I think that is why people like Jesus taught in parabolic language, and why he and others tried to talk about love by telling stories. But the stories, the texts, the scriptures, the parables, aren’t the reality of God. They simply point towards God.
Ever tried to write a love letter, or love poem? Ever tried to explain to a your child or best friend what they mean to you? It’s always a challenge and it never carries the full message you are trying to convey. Music or art probably come closer.
Maybe, for the sake of authenticity, and because as we all know, talk is cheap, it is better to participate in the reality of love by the way we act, the way we live. If we love God, then we love what God loves. If we want to know about the nature of God, maybe we ought to pay attention to the nature of love in its purest form. How do you know when someone loves you? First of all, they are, for some reason, interested in you. They seek out dialogue and relationship. Secondly, they are sensitive to your feelings and your welfare. Thirdly, they accept you, even your faults, and they are willing to forgive you when you are really sorry for harming or offending them. In other words, they love the behavior you show to them that tells them the same thing: you love them. The spiritual word for this is grace, and as a counselor I have witnessed that it truly is amazing, just as the song says, and it truly does transform us from wretches to those who are given a new chance, a new life, a second birth.
The other difficult thing about love is that we cannot accept it unless we face our own human failures, admit that we have them, and accept that grace that is offered. Sometimes that fact is made even harder, if not almost impossible, because we aren’t around anyone who is graceful enough, and humble enough, to give us another chance, at least on any given day. That is why, for me, the invitation given to me by the love of God I experience through the life and death of the one we call the Christ, is irresistible and the most real thing I have ever encountered in my life. It may not be the only path towards God, but it’s the one I was given.
Maybe the reason it’s hard to talk about love is the same reason it’s hard to talk about God. We sense that the minute the conversation begins, we are once removed from the reality of the encounter. That is why I know that the only way I can really experience the reality of God’s love is in relationship, with the world he created and loves, the people he created and loves, and in learning to accept his graceful acceptance of me, warts and all. This is the cross Jesus told us to pick up and carry, if we wanted to follow him. It’s not easy. It’s not convenient. It’s not cheap. We have to decide. And it’s something I have found that I simply cannot live without and feel really alive, completely happy or at peace in this crazy world.-RSP